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"High Court is Too Soft on Alabama Sex" -- February 27, 2005 I learned two important lessons from my high school civics teacher: (1) a degree in political science is the road to poverty; and (2) the proper functioning of our democratic system of government requires checks and balances. Unfortunately, it appears that not everyone has learned this lesson, particularly the justices on the Supreme Court, who are letting the legislative branch run amuck. For example, just last week, the Supreme Court declined to even hear a case challenging an Alabama law, which outlaws the sale of sex toys. This law prohibits the distribution of “any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.” Violators can be sentenced to up to a year in jail and fined up to $10,000. I don’t get it. This is the same state where you can sell automatic weapons through vending machines, but you can get a year in jail for trafficking in, say, love beads? This is backwards, even by Alabama standards. I’m also not so sure that I understand the exemptions to the law. For one, the law only covers those devices that are marketed for sexual purposes. Therefore, it’s still possible to sell, say, shower massagers so long as you and the customer pretend that it’s being purchased for “therapeutic” purposes. Also, the law exempts the sale of these devices for medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial or law enforcement purposes. Law enforcement purposes? Are the police in Alabama now arming themselves with vibrators? I can’t imagine that these are going to helpful during a violent confrontation. “Drop the weapon or I’ll … tickle you?” Of course, just because a law is stupid doesn’t mean that the courts have the power to overturn it. The courts only have the power to strike down those laws that are unconstitutional. Yet, this is one of those laws. Just two years ago, the Supreme Court overturned Texas’ sodomy law because it violated the right to privacy. In that case, the high court ruled that two consenting adults are free to do whatever strikes their fancy behind closed doors; at least until they get married. Now, if two people have a constitutional right to engage in intimate activity, shouldn’t one person have the same right? Interestingly, even Alabama’s Attorney General Troy King concedes this point. However, he contends that the law doesn’t prevent people from using these devices. The law merely prohibits the sale of sex toys. What’s the difference? Is King saying that it’s okay to use a sex toy so long as you make it yourself? Give me a break! Who has the time or skill to manufacture their own sex toys? Besides, if we were that good with our hands, then perhaps sex toys wouldn’t be necessary in the first place. The sad truth of the matter is that Alabama is using this meaningless distinction between sale and use to deprive its citizens of their constitutional right to actually enjoy sex. And the worst part is that Supreme Court is letting Alabama get away with it. Much like my high school civics teacher, this is very sad.
RECEIVE A FREE COPY OF MY E-BOOK As I attempt to further syndicate this weekly legal humor column, I thought it might be helpful to provide some comments from the more than 30,000 monthly visitors to this site. With your help, this column could find its way in your local newspaper in the coming months. Also, for those of you who take a moment to help me in this regard, I'll send you a FREE copy of my e-book, 2002: A Lawpsided Year in Review. Thank you in advance. Sean Carter If you enjoyed this article, then you will love Sean Carter's collection of irreverent legal commentaries, 2002: A Lawpsided Year in Review. This hilarious e-book may be purchased for $7.95 by clicking here. Also, to view other recent commentaries, click here. GET THE NEXT LAWPSIDED PIECE DELIVERED DIRECTLY TO YOUR MAILBOX If you would like to receive Lawpsided in your mailbox each week, subscribe by entering your e-mail address below: |
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