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Can't We All Just Get Along?

Rodney King never lived in a HOA community. If he did, he would have laughed as hard as we did when he uttered that now infamous question -- "Can't we all just get along?" What a silly man! Rodney, if you’re listening, the answer is apparently….NO!!

A lot of you probably don’t know this (it’s not in any of the history books), but the very first homeowners association was a family-run board for a tiny community consisting of only two families. One family, the Hatfields, was the association, and the other family was the McCoys. One day the McCoy’s dog, Old Yeller, did his business on the Hatfield’s property. Old man Hatfield came out of his trailer, took one wrong step, and the rest, as they say, is history. Thus began the legendary battle.

It was an ugly, fierce war that raged for years and years. The neighborhood became a battlefield strewn with pork rinds and Hamm’s Beer cans, hubcaps and tobacky juice, as the Hatfields and McCoys duked it out in the streets. Then, one day, an idea struck old man Hatfield like a tire iron. (pronounced “tar arn”) Looking up from his can of Beanie-Weenies, he said to his wife; “Sis? What-say we form us a committee to be the governing body of this fine community, whose sole duty will be to provide an atmosphere of safety, conformity, and unity, so that our brethren may live and prosper in peace. An association, if you will, whose laws and policies demonstrate fairness and equality to all residents of the community, with liberty and justice for all?”

“I reckon,” she said.

Little could they have known however, that the bylaws of communities nationwide would have an effect so opposite from their good intentions, pitting neighbor against neighbor, and residents against associations. Though many years dead, the Hatfields and McCoys are apparently still alive and kicking.

It is not uncommon nowadays for disputes to spill over from community association board meetings and into the courtrooms as a result of failed negotiations, causing an increasingly heavy price to be paid for victory by both sides of the dispute. Often, one side or the other will be forced to back down simply because the legal costs of continuing the fight was not worth the battle. The issue is temporarily settled, but the bad blood remains.

Furthermore, and more importantly, dragging the battle into the nation’s courtrooms will only force residents and association boards do deal with something nobody wants to tangle with: A judges decision just LOADED with “heretofors, thereofs, aforeciteds, aforementioneds, aforeplay..oops, aforequoteds, obiter dictums, writs of certioraris, and res judicatas.

For example, my research on this subject led me to a judges ruling, of which I will give you a little glimpse. Behold the horror: “…in ruling upon a motion for summary judgement, the trial court must consider the record in the light most favorable to the non-moving party and entry of summary judgement is appropriate only in cases where it is clear and free from doubt that the moving party is entitled to judgement as a matter of law. Although a dispute as to a material fact is sufficient to preclude summary judgement, entry of summary judgement is nonetheless proper where the moving party would be entitled to judgement as a matter of law if all factual disputes were resolved in the non-moving party’s favor.” Got that?

At this point, the judges head exploded, splattering the rest of the document with globs of obiter dictum and covering the courtroom walls with slimy bits of res judicata, so I must leave you hanging as to the ultimate resolution of this gripping courtroom drama.

So there you have it folks, the handwriting (and parts of the judge) is on the wall. Residents and association managers take heed. Settle your disputes with a cool head and fairness for all before your lust for “victory at all costs” puts your case before a judge, leaving everyone yearning for the good ol’ days when things were settled with a ball bat and a tar arn.