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"The Politics of Fashion" -- February 13, 2005 For some time now, I’ve been considering the prospect of getting a “real” job. Yet, I’ve been concerned that no employer would allow me to sleep until noon and then spend the rest of the day on trivial matters, like the subjects of this column. However, recently, I’ve realized that my particular “skill set” is perfect for the job of state legislator. This was illustrated once again last week when the Virginia House of Delegates spent two days debating the all-important issue of low-riding pants. As you know, over the last few years, the style in clothing has changed so that the waistline of pants has crept somewhere down around the mid-thigh. As a result, most young people are more easily identified by their underwear than their faces. Apparently, the lawmakers in Virginia believe that this is one of the most pressing issues facing the Old Dominion State. As a result, the House of Delegates swept into action to pass a bill that will impose a $50 fine for anyone who displays their underwear in a “lewd or indecent manner.” Now, perhaps it’s just me, but is there a prim and proper way to display your underwear in public? And if so, where’s the fun in that? Besides, at least our young people are bothering to wear underpants in the first place. Given the sexual mores in our society, that should be a victory, in and of itself. And it’s certainly an improvement over middle-aged carpenters and plumbers who feel no shame about exposing portions of their actual rear ends every time they bend over to pick up a wrench or a hammer. Finally, I’m still finding it a little hard to believe that Virginia has resorted to calling out the fashion police. What’s next? Are the police going to issue on APB for anyone still wearing spandex or a Members Only jacket? On second thought, that might not be such a bad idea. Of course, I realize that my opposition to this law may be somewhat ill-informed. That’s why I’m so grateful that the delegates in Virginia spent so much time studying the issue. I was particularly impressed with Del. Lionell Spruill Sr. who made impassioned pleas against the measure. In fact, Spruill went so far as to invoke the “race card,” claiming that the bill was an unconstitutional attack on young blacks. As a black man, I must say that it’s good to know that someone is out there fighting for this all-important civil rights issue. After all, I think it was Martin Luther King who said, “I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the exposure of their underwear but by the content of their character.” Or perhaps, that was Snoop Dogg. It’s hard to be sure. However, as your elected representative, I will take the time to study this issue and all of the other important issues facing Americans (except for healthcare reform, social security reform and the deficit). My name is Sean Carter and I’m reporting for duty!
RECEIVE A FREE COPY OF MY E-BOOK As I attempt to further syndicate this weekly legal humor column, I thought it might be helpful to provide some comments from the more than 30,000 monthly visitors to this site. With your help, this column could find its way in your local newspaper in the coming months. Also, for those of you who take a moment to help me in this regard, I'll send you a FREE copy of my e-book, 2002: A Lawpsided Year in Review. Thank you in advance. Sean Carter If you enjoyed this article, then you will love Sean Carter's collection of irreverent legal commentaries, 2002: A Lawpsided Year in Review. This hilarious e-book may be purchased for $7.95 by clicking here. Also, to view other recent commentaries, click here. GET THE NEXT LAWPSIDED PIECE DELIVERED DIRECTLY TO YOUR MAILBOX If you would like to receive Lawpsided in your mailbox each week, subscribe by entering your e-mail address below: |
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