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Bring America's Funniest Legal Humorist to Your Corporate, Charitable or Educational Event
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Survivor: Rikers Island
In yet another pathetic attempt to boost ratings, the producers of Survivor have announced the locale for the next installment in the series -- Rikers Island. Along with the change in location comes a change in hosts. Jeff Probst has been replaced by former Sole Survivor and current inmate, Richard Hatch, who will appear throughout most of the show in the nude. According to Probst, "There are some things that even I wouldn't do for money!" The indoor version of Survivor will be played very much like the outdoor version. The "castaways" will be split into two prison gangs. Each week, the gangs will compete in tasks, such as making shanks out of tin foil and smuggling drugs into the prison. The losing gang will then vote one of its members into the prison's general population. The show's ultimate winner will receive a lifetime supply of cigarettes and unlimited phone privileges. "Now, that's something worth playing for," says an exuberant Hatch. With so much at stake, the show's producers expect this season to be the most hotly contested ever. Also, the newest season of Survivor will contain its own special plot twists. A secret "Get Out of Jail Free Card" will be hidden somewhere in solitary confinement -- the Rikers Island version of Exile Island. Also, insiders have hinted that there may be a few special appearances by celebrities like Bobby Brown and Paris Hilton when they are arrested on future drug and alcohol charges. Next fall, millions of Americans will be glued to their sets as they watch to see which castaway will "out-shank, out-smuggle and outlast" the competition to be crowned "Sole Shot Caller." |
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